Dear Nam-joon,
sorry if I call you by your name, I don’t want to seem disrespectful. The reason why I do this is that, in this letter, before being an Army, I’d like to be a friend. Yes, I know, it sounds exuberant to me too: you can’t even imagine how much time I’ve spent deciding if writing you this letter was right or wrong. But I finally took my resolution, because there’s something I really want to tell you.
About one week ago, I read online what someone once told you reffering to the way you look and, most importantly, your answer to the comment. “I know”, you said. “I know”. No laughing, no shouting, no speeches. Just “I know”. I felt drained out. I know those words well: they’re not a proof of strength. They’re the sign that people have finally tricked you into believing it. Anyway, something didn’t feel right, because I used to read so many comments of people sincerely telling you how beautiful you looked. “That should be enough”, I thought, “how come he doesn’t understand it?”. Deep inside, I already knew the answer and yes, it’s a kind of clichè, but I hope that hearing it one more time, from a stranger living far far away, may help you not to feel alone. The answer is that it doesn’t matter who and how many people try to lift you up, ‘cause the one who has to look in that demonic weapon called “mirror” is you. When you look at your reflection you look at your weaknesses, you look at your past, you feel scared by your future and, if you feel extremely sad, you can even hear the mean words you received. And yes, in part you’re that reflection, but you mustn’t forget that you’re not that man in the mirror. When you look at him, remember how different he is from you: he’s in a prison of glass while you are out, able to move, able to cover your ears. Yes, you are allowed to do this for once: everyone knows how long you have kept them wide open to protect your hyungs (brothers).
Nam-joon, I don’t think my words will be able to cure your wounds or make you change your mind, and it wasn’t my purpose from the beginning: as you showed before the debut and right after it, you can be incredibly determined. But I didn’t want to make you feel alone.
Congratulations for everything, Nam-joon, hope you’re smiling now.

Lots of love.


B.